in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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