Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
