Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
