I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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