A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
