I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
