Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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