Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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