I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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