I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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