There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
