Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
