Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You smell like stripper and shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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