if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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