drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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