I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
