i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
