News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize