Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
