i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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