Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
