Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Randomize
