It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
