And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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