just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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