Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
