Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
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I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
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I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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