Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.