I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
This is evicking siegelnvs
This is fucking ridiculous*
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot