you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
