had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.