My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
