I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
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I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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