I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
