it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
