I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
