dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
