You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
