Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
