I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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