i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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