try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
