Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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