I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
