Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
