if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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