glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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