Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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