Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
