i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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