Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
