I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
the day after is always just damage control
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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