I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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