you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
