She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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