Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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