You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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