Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
