Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
