Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize