So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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