I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
