return my video game
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
