No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I think your dad took our porno
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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