The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Send help, water and tortillas.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
