I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
