I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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