FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
