I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Randomize
