my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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