I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
