umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
